Episode III - NOW we get decent Star Wars???

Well, I saw Revenge of the Sith last night, in comfort, and with most of a bottle of champagne in me. I believe the comments I most oft-quoted during and after the film were "Awesome!" and "He's acting his pants off!" (regarding Ian McDiarmid's chilling performances). In essence, my socks were rocked. I will have to see it again (and again...).

It was fun and exciting; emotional; scary. Even (and I hesitate to use the word, so often abused by movie posters quoting Hollywood-stooge reviewers) "Thrilling". Yes, I was thrilled. Lou cried on and off for the last half of the movie.

There were only a handful of cringe-worthy moments. Case in point… Vader: (raises fists) “Nooooooooooo!” Suppressed giggles rippled across the theatre. But only for a moment.

Now I’m thinking: it is such a paradox; how can this film exist when the previous instalments were just... turds? It's like a light was suddenly switched on in George Lucas' mind (two movies too late, mind you).

It’s like the Matrix trilogy, only reversed. The defining moments of the series appear in the final film, rather than the first (and then subsequently go on to be debased...). I guess finishing on a high is always better.

It has occurred to me (perhaps via subtle suggestions from the cacophony of reviews out there) that Episode I: The Phantom Menace, and Episode II: Attack of the Clones, could be trimmed to be a simple, 20-minute prologue for this film (a-la Fellowship of the Ring). Maybe even as a free-on-the-web StarWars.com pre-release...

Yes, it’s much easier to see now why Lucas did SOME of the things he did with the two earlier films. We get it: Darth Sidious instrumented his own rise to power, beginning with Anakin Skywalker’s (immaculate) conception, gradual corruption, and eventual fall. The “prequel trilogy” is about the Emperor’s rise as much as Anakin’s crossing to the Dark Side – perhaps more so. The Trade Federation, the Clone Armies… the Emperor created them both, then set them against each other, until nothing left in the galaxy to prevent him from taking control. In essence, he’s a “war president”… (Hmm where have I heard that quote before...).

It’s a fantastic story, if at times a little heavy-handed and lacking in subtlety.

None of that explains Jar-Jar’s existence, Jake Lloyd’s excruciatingly annoying antics, the hammy acting, the impossible characters, the long, tedious side plots. I’m hoping someone will cut together a highlight reel of Episode I-II plot points, so I never again have to watch them in their entirety.

In the end – it’s a bittersweet time. No more Star Wars on the big screen. The Story has been told.

Until George Lucas brings out all six films in 3D-o-Vision... Hey, don’t laugh.